OCTOBER COVER – «THE LOVE OBSESSION» – Renan Borges & Michel Ferrari by Thyago Bargmann.

«Domestic violence can be difficult to identify, especially for the person experiencing it. People sometimes 
misunderstand domestic violence and think it is only physical abuse when actually it can be emotional, financial and sexual abuse as well. You don’t have to be a victim of a felony to be in an abusive relationship. «But my partner don’t hit me…». Well, he humiliates you… He gaslights you… This is abuse.
Domestic abuse is a pattern of behaviour characterised by the exercise of control by one person over another within  the context of an intimate or family relationship. This control pattern can happen with physical abuse, gaslighting, verbal humiliation, silence treatment, and others.
Gay and bisexual men experience domestic abuse regardless of age, carer responsibility, class, disability, gender origin, immigration status, race or religion. Gay and bisexual men can find it hard to talk about domestic abuse, because culturally, this kind of abuse is usually referred as a female problem.
Acknowledging that any current or ex-partner or family member is an ‘abuser’ is hard. Sometimes we doubt that ‘it was that bad’, because the media shows abuse in an extreme light.
Abusers often manipulate victims so that they feel they are to blame for the abuse. Sometimes same sex abusers will try to tell their partners that “this is how it is in a gay relationship”. 
Abusers often promise to change their behaviour, and the hope for that positive change can keep a victim from identifying the pattern of abuse in the relationship. This can be called «cycle of abuse», and this helps maintain an abusive relationship happening. 
How can you determine whether you’re being abused? 
Every relationship is different and many relationships have rough patches with arguments and other turmoil. Though some behaviour may be hurtful, someone is being abusive when their behaviour is intended to have power over you and to control you. 
Intimate partner abuse takes many forms, including physical, emotional, sexual, identity and financial abuse. The list below outlines some examples of abusive behaviour. 
Are you in a relationship with someone who:
Keeps you from spending time with friends or family members?
Is excessively jealous and possessive?
Makes unreasonable demands for your attention?
Blames you for all the arguments or problems in the relationship?
Wants to make all the decisions?
Invades your privacy?
Gets angry for no apparent reason?
Seems like two different people – one is charming or loving, the other is mean and hurtful?
Lies in order to confuse you?
Criticises, ridicules, humiliates or belittles you?
Controls your finances?
Damages your property?
Harasses you at work or school?
Criticizes your appearance and body?
This sounds like abuse.
If you feel worse in a relationship, it’s time to think if it’s worth it. You deserve happiness. You deserve love. You deserve peace.»
– Buna Andrade, pshychologist.



MODELS: Renan Borges and Michel Ferrari
PHOTOGRAPHER: Thyago Bargmann
PSYCHOLOGIST: Bruna Andrande
PRODUCTION: Spazio Higia
COVER DESING: Andre Rodrigues

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